Musing: Daycare

Remy is six months old. He has been in daycare for two weeks now and I have thoughts. My mother has a brilliant approach to life choices like “daycare vs Stay at Home Mom (SHM)” questions – there are always trade-offs. There isn’t necessarily a right answer, they both can be right and wrong in their own ways.

With that said, I think daycare is the right choice for my child. For a variety of reasons, some of which others told me before we signed him up and some which I hadn’t heard from friends and family.

An upside-downside is the hit to his immune system.  Now, we haven’t had anything yet (knock on wood) but it’s also only been two weeks. I can 1000% understand when a mom is going “I can’t work from home and my kid isn’t very sick – I need to work and they need to go somewhere, so… Tylenol!” Is that half-day (until the Tylenol wears off and the fever spikes) worth it? It might be. That little bit of money that mom is making in a half-day of hourly pay might be the power bill or dinner that week… I’m not saying it’s right, just that I understand it isn’t always easy.

Then there is the socialization. We’ve been working hard to introduce Remy to people, but it’s largely been adults. He hasn’t been exposed to a lot of children until now. I don’t have a ton of mommy-friends and even fewer gave birth in the past year. Most seem to be 3+ years old and the age gap – makes a difference.  Now, Remy is in a room with a toddling-infant (she can sort of walk) about to “graduate” to the toddler room and a 12-week-ish-old. Currently, it’s just the three. I like the idea of Remy getting to see kiddies around his own age. 

Which speaking of – my friends told me I would get to know the other parents and how wonderful that would be (just having more mommy friends). Haven’t gotten there yet. So far, I haven’t met any of the other parents (period). Some of that might be that hubby drops off and I pick up fairly early (4-4:30 is late for Remy). I look forward to meeting other moms.

There is a benefit to hearing from the professionals who work with children every day that my child actually IS on track in some areas, ahead in a few, and a bit behind in a few. Specifically, we really need to be getting him to eat non-milky-foods and we could/should probably be doing more. I finally did the peanut test but we are not doing regular meals with him yet. I expect we’re going to start with “lunch” – I just have to start preparing “lunch” for him (the lunch foods they make require teeth).

Daycare has already allowed him to do “arts and crafts” – it never occurred to me there was infant-safe paint. It exists! AND it means I’m not shelling out the cash to buy a bunch of paints and trying to use them up before they go bad. And that’s just paint. As he becomes more and more dextrous the gambit of activities he’ll have access to will grow. The variety is something I couldn’t provide if I cared for him by myself.

I recognize one of my not-so-strengths (ok, maybe weakness) is that I am shy. Don’t laugh! I actually am. I’m not very comfortable meeting people and I don’t have that easy way of making friends (and I do realize I all-but just quoted Darcy, I know. The very first time I read P&P I went “omg, I get it!”).  It isn’t natural to me and is something I have to actively engage with – and I don’t always like it so I backslide a LOT.  So having a place to sort of force me to meet other parents and kids – I like it. Getting my kid to build those skills now (yes, at six months!) I hope means when he’s in his thirties he doesn’t struggle the way I do.

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Writer, nerd, and perpetual student. I am obsessed with books - both the reading and the making of them. If I won the lottery I would try to have the best private(ish) library in the world. It wouldn't be totally private because the whole purpose of having books is helping other people find a book they will love. I have 2 cats, Genkii (energy) and Kawaii (cutie). I will mention them regularly because they are a daily delight in my life. Granted, sometimes when I'm playing video games they are not so much "delight" as they are "distraction"... but I love them regardless.

3 thoughts on “Musing: Daycare

  1. Barbara, I read your post with great interest. I think, and have observed, that the advantages of early socialization usually out-weigh any disadvantages. All the research on early child development shows that early, high-quality daycare produces many more advantages (for most children) than not. Good for you for voicing all the pros and cons, because it’s never an easy decision, esp in this culture.

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  2. You said “That little bit of money that mom is making in a half-day of hourly pay might be the power bill or dinner that week… I’m not saying it’s right, just that I understand it isn’t always easy.” – I think it is wrong, but it is not the parent who is in the wrong. It is outright evil in a country with our resources (or really any resources to speak of) that a mother or father has to make that choice. Our livelihood should not be at stake when we care for our children.

    Here’s hoping that all the extra germs and such give his immune system just enough work now such that he is less prone to illness later! (I think the jury is somewhat out on whether that is actually a thing, but since it’ll happen anyway, one can hope) 🙂 Good luck.

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    • I absolutely agree, parents shouldn’t have to even make those choices. When they DO, and they decide getting all the other kids are worth a hair day of work… It’s awful all the way around isn’t it?

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