Life is full of stress right now. I am fighting my anxiety basically daily, like pretty much everyone else. I am avoiding the news for the most part because I want to hear something that is NOT “the world is ending.”
So I am trying to cope. I am cleaning my kitchen a LOT.
I am sewing masks. My first attempt was OK, but not great. Fortunately, I have lots of 1 yard scraps of material I hated to get rid of, so I have had plenty to work with. I’m pretty proud of some of my later masks.
I am back on anti-anxieties. I can’t concentrate. I feel like I am losing my mind regularly. I feel like I’ve become agoraphobic because leaving my house only increases my anxiety. A walk around the neighborhood is an Event. Grocery shopping is an exhausting juggle of requirements.
But worse than the ever-present stress is the frustration interacting with the world. We had a mild breakout of hives to something (probably pecans although he’s eaten other nuts without issue?) in the baby and need to have blood drawn for them to test the tree nut family. –I so hope it comes back all negative! So I have the dr’s order and on top of the sheer anxiety of leaving the safety of my home, I get to the Children’s lab location and there is a sign on the door they close at 3pm (actually it says the “radiology closes at 3” – for the lab & radiology office….)
This is frustrating because I checked their website. It said this location will be open until 7pm. They have added their information on rules for masks and coughs and fevers… but apparently updating the freaking hours was just a straw too heavy! I had called ahead to ask if I needed an appointment. I was told no, so I said “oh good, I’ll take him this afternoon” and the woman on the phone didn’t consider saying “Just to be sure you know – we close at 3.” No. None of these points of contact gave me this rather important piece of information. And I think what really makes me angry is this isn’t like “they normally close at 4 and shifted it an hour” – no, they normally are open until 7pm. This a four-hour shift in their hours.
I know they are probably closing early in order to do more intense cleaning every day (like so many other places). I know that they are probably seeing less general traffic as people put off visits that aren’t absolutely necessary. I know everyone is struggling with the same stress I am. I know I should be more patient. But I am running on the end of my rope. They are running on the end of their rope.
We all need someone to lean on because it feels like we’re all just clinging to each other while we all fall down. Ashes. Ashes. We all fall down.
Dream by Day 