I don’t do normal resolutions. By normal I mean the list of “this year I’m gonna lose 20 lbs” or “I’m saving $1 every day”
I aim for my resolutions to change me; change my outlook or my philosophy or some aspect of me. They really become more than just one-year resolutions.
For 2018, my resolution is to be bolder. To fight harder against the voice that says “no” and to look it in the eyes and say “then yes damnit!”
In the world today there is a lot of “no” going around and so many artists said it in 2017 – stress makes art hard. Fear makes art painful. Most artists can’t separate art and life (I say most because if I say “all” someone will point out some exception….) One informs and influences the other.
I had a dream in the early hours of Jan 1st and it was terrifying. I woke panting, wanting to spring up and run away. But you can’t run away from your mind – you have to turn and face it.
So I am facing myself this year. I have started on medication because the nightmares, the stress, the anxiety in 2017 got to a point where I wasn’t coping – I was hiding. I felt like I was barely functioning. And there is too much I want to do in life for me to spend all my time hiding under my covers because my brain wants to say “no.”
2018 is the year I say “yes.” This is the paradigm shift I want to make: say yes instead of no. Instead of saying “I won’t be on Facebook as much” I want to say “I will work out more.” Yes!
Yes, I will send that novel manuscript to a publisher or agent even though I think it’s imperfect.
Yes, I will write more short stories.
Yes, I will try new restaurants.
Yes, I will work out more even though I’m terrified of my asthma.
Yes, I’m going to spend my money wiser.
Yes, I’m going to donate my time and talents.
Yes, I will travel outside my comfort zone to new places.