I don’t know how this happens, but it is frequent enough that I know it does. The worst I had was a debt collector who just would not believe I wasn’t “Simon.” Pretty sure my voice is not that deep… Someone dials the wrong number and just does not believe the person answering is NOT their local pizza place. I might have been reading Not Always Right and everyone who’s worked in customer service should go there.
I have decided how I will handle it. It would go (I expect) something like this:
Me: Hello?
Lost Soul: Hi, I want to order a pizza.
Me: Oh, you must have dialed the wrong number, I’m not a pizza place.
Lost Soul: Yeah, Pepperoni and fried pickles.
Me: I don’t have pizzas.
Lost Soul: Didn’t you hear me?
Me: Yes. You apparently can’t hear me. *singing* And he/she was a lost soooooul in the wasteland….
Lost Soul: What? Did you put me on hold?
Me: Nope. You ready to listen now?
Lost Soul: No, I just want to order my pizza!
Me: Then you should probably hang up and call the pizza place.
Lost Soul: I did!
Me: Wow, impressive how you can hang up and call the same wrong number twice.
Lost Soul: If you don’t take my order, I’ll have you fired!
Me: From where?
Lost Soul: [Pizza Place]
Me: Can you get me a job there first?
I would be merciless. And patient. And laugh at them until they admitted their fault and/or hung up. I would try to record it too to put on the internet, but I suspect by the time I figured out they were this level of dumb, I’d have missed the golden opportunity.
Dream by Day 