I have been thinking about this post for years and largely avoided it. For several reasons, but I think 2024 is the right time to put my thoughts out there. Trigger warning – there will be strong language inappropriate for everyone used in this piece. I can’t avoid it.
When I am driving in Atlanta, I see a lot of cars. I have also begun to judge people based on the brand of car. And type, but brand is definitely more consistent for my judgement. Because I make assumptions about how dangerous a driver is based on the brand.
Most car brands are like a 50/50 split between good and bad drivers: Toyota, Kia, Ford, Honda, Chrysler, Chevy, VW… with the exception of non-working pickup trucks (looking at you Ford, Chevy, and Ram). These are what I call the “normies.” There is an equal chance they barely passed their drivers license or they are perfectly good, safe driver – you know, the people who manage to abide by the three driving rules.
The first brand I ever noticed was Lexus. I used to live in city called Sandy Springs and lemme tell you – there was a pattern. If someone was doing something monumentally stupid and most-likely illegal, I could have made a fortune betting it was a Lexus. I am apparently not insanse – as there are now studies showing that more expensive cars are less likely to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk.
I spent years muttering “Fucking Lexus” while living in Sandy Springs. I quickly noticed Mercedes was almost as bad, but they never hit the level of vitrol of Lexus.
The brand that does hit Lexus-levels is Nissan. My phrase has become “What, you couldn’t afford a Lexus?” when I see them drive. Seriously, the stupid shit I see from Nissans… either they are truly incapable of driving or suicidal. I haven’t been able to decide which one. But seriously, I don’t know why of the “affordable” (average? normal?) brands, Nissan breaks the mold. It’s weird.
Surprisingly, I found there is a magic line when someone crosses into ridiculously expensive where they at least stay legal (mostly): I’m talking Rolls Royce, Jags, Porche, Ferrari. Granted, fairly small sample sizes. I’ve lived in an area of Atlanta that has money, but isn’t like… beyond the pale? There were plenty of what I would call “middle class” and “upper middle class” -at the time I lived in an apartment barely clinging to survival for the first several years. Pleanty of people in the area were NOT rolling in the dough… you know, young adults. But for the truly luxurious car brands, they seemed more polite. I figured they were just afraid some normie would hit them and then sue for some kind of mental damages or some such.
There is also a notable difference from BMWs – for some reason BMWs are legal assholes. A BWM might be aggressive and rude but they stay just inside Rule #1 – whereas I am convinced something in the air systems of Lexus and Mercedes saps intelligence and memory. The inability to understand things like “red lights” and “physics” just terrifies me every time I am around one of these worst-offenders.
Now, since I lived there I have encountered more Teslas, and they are rising quickly to join these three brands. The more I drive around Teslas, the more I roll my eyes. The more I fear them. The less I trust them just because of the brand of car they are in.
Nothing is 100%. I have seen Lexus/Nissan drivers who seem reasonable. At least while I’m around them. My judgement is in the assumptions of how well they will drive. I’m sitting at a red light? I do not assume they are going to stop just because my light is about to turn green. Oh, my light is already green…. yeah I still need to confirm they will ACTUALLY stop. They might not…fucking Lexus.
Finally, there is only one brand I see and find runs the other end of the gambit – Volvo. I suspect because Volvos are rather known for their safety record. I suspect that the primary reason someone chooses a Volvo is their concern for safety. Hence, when I see a Volvo they drive defensively, at least Rule #1 and #2. They might end up crashing their brains against Rule #3… I can live with it.
And let me be infinitely clear – none of these are 100%. I have seen Lexus (Lexies? Lexuses? Lexi?) which drive fine. Well withing the three rules. I have (once) seen a Volvo do something utterly dumb AND illegal. The point is on the averages – if I tallied what I saw which ones would be most likely in each category – Fucking Lexus….
Dream by Day 